Hey guys, sorry for the late post, but I have been thinking about things for a while. And I was thinking, that there is something that I have noticed as of late.
I know that I have said that I have been trying my best as of the past month or so, and I have to be honest. I think it is affecting other parts of my life. And some of these decisions… I will have to admit, is rather hard to do.
Maybe it is because I hold so much duties in my life at the moment. Studying, working, finding new opportunities for myself to grow and learn new skills, meet new people and to make myself grow as a person. I have also been trying to hold this brand name, this business afloat.
This is not an excuse for me to push the post back to a month. I understand, and I apologize for the inconvenience on the matter. But I do know that I have to be honest here. That some things, I may have to rotate around and get stuff done, or even to give up something temporarily, just so I can make it a bit more relaxing for myself as I am trying to build up my life in a way that I hope will fulfill me in the long term, in terms of education, social and finance.
I am aware that this busyness won’t last forever. That this is something temporary, and it is something that will shift in the next twelve months. And afterwards… I am hoping that the trajectory will go up from there. That it will become better, new doors will open, and an opportunity will arise.
But I do realize that sometimes, it’s as if the pressure is boiling on, the temperature will boil high, tiredness will creep in, the mind will start to question or leave a gap in things. Or at least, the mind will leave a gap, before it jumps, and sometimes, this haste can lead to… Disastrous consequences, even if you don’t mean to do it.
As someone who likes to work on so many things, enough to learn the skills and to keep themselves learning more, sometimes to the point of constant tiredness. I do know that I have been trying my hardest since i have come back from holidays, and it almost feels like the relaxed sort of life slithers away to the background.
I sometimes wonder: Is it the culture, or is it because of the way that I would like to hold responsibility of so many things, is what makes me struggle to breathe like I do after every running session? But instead of it being running, it’s with the work and the responsibilities that I have each day, and I don’t give myself enough time to take a proper breather and to rest, see the trees and relax. That really, there is more to life than just trying to get the next project done.
Although I do understand. That at this stage of my life, I want to develop and grow outside of the role that I’m in. Be planted into a bigger pot, and eventually in the soil, where the roots will come around so far, that I hope I will make an impact somewhere. Someplace. I also know that sometimes, sacrifices have to be made, even if it’s the most difficult thing to do at this point of time, I do have to try whatever I can to grow my skillset, make sure that I can help another person in some way. This is also while considering the fact of resting whenever I can and to do my best with the time that I currently do have at the moment to deal with the things that I do need to do.
So I am sorry for the inconvenience. I will still try to do the fortnightly, but I can’t promise you it will be as consistent. So consider that it will be a bit infrequent for a while.