Hey, so I was rather late with submitting this. And there were other things that I wanted to say, but I guess I’ve got a bit distracted with some feedback that I have got in terms of this website, so I thought that I would change it up a bit. I am hoping that the site looks a bit more polished than it was last time. With some different font that someone has stated that it needed some form of change (although it was unspecified on which one it is) I tried. And improved some of the images there as well that represents more of the vision that I want to represent, not some random lady that doesn’t represent me.
You know the feeling that it takes when you want to delay things? You know that something is important. You know that you need to do the said thing, but you keep on making excuses. Saying that you’ll get it done one day, that it is empty words that doesn’t move towards progress, and it instead makes you contemplate, wonder and lull about how others are clearly doing better than you.
I’m assuming that I am doing it lately. But I am sure that it comes along with everyone else some day or another who says that they feel like doing the said thing or at least, feels lost in some shape or form.
Maybe it’s the many things that I am holding? Maybe it is the lack of motivation? Maybe those holidays have really distracted me and I am struggling to get into the groove of things. I can’t be quite sure. But I will say, I know that I am trying in some shape or form, even with the many gears that I have to turn in order to make this whole thing of my life work together that it’s making me struggle or at least, it’s harder than I would anticipate to handle it all sometimes.
If I were to admit one thing: Life has been a bit rough. Not in the sense that someone has passed, or that I am in mourning. But I guess maybe I am hoping that everything will stick to the way that I want it, yet as life likes to handle things, it doesn’t always fall into place like you would expect. Which can be a good and a bad thing depending on one’s interpretation and the events that happens throughout to color that experience.
I will admit, as much as I feel demotivated in terms of some tasks, I know that I am focusing a bit more on my story, which is helping to complete it faster, and that sometimes, seeing the way that my characters are written and how the scenes evolve over the past couple of scenes has been interesting in terms of how it compares to previous drafts and how the characters reactions have changed from draft to draft. It even feels a bit different to how I have been writing it, which I can imagine has to do with trying to notice how people react, their quirks, responses, the subtext and meanings of what they mean in between.
There is a point in writing prose which considers not just the words – although it certainly helps – but also the evolution of being part of the experience and seeing, hearing and sensing it all evolve as if you are in the real world, yet also in a dimension as if you are watching it all happen on a television screen. Reality yet also fantasy, melding itself together to create moments which hold relatability to the viewers that are absorbing this content day by day.
So it is a wonderful experience to find the considerations of where my characters can tell the stories in the best way that I can possible and share a version of the experience that I am willing to share, and see with how it all unfolds over time.